OH GEEZ.

i remember almost everything that happened last night. i wish i sorta didnt cause now i realize how much of a different person i am when i drink. im a happy drunk but also way too affectionate drunk which is bad. i need to take responsibity for my actions. i feel silly right now. i'm confused at why i did what i did. i'm confused at why he did what he did. well, maybe not so c0nfused. i'm not stupid. guys are not innocent. then again, i didnt stop him. maybe i did like it, but this is not something i want on a regular basis. i would get too confused if it were so. maybe im just ridiculously repressed and i just express that when i'm drunk. oh god i think i will never drink for the rest of the quarter. being with him was fun for the moment, but i dont think i should push this beyond whatever it is because i dont want to complicate things. there are so many things going on in the background that caused what i did. i am so taking a break from everything that is going on. i think i had my share of fun.

i think i'm feeling a little guilty cause i dreamt my mom found out about everything. and i felt really ashamed in my dream. well, i think im old enough now to realize that what i'm doing is not that bad, placed in the context of a college setting. reading back at this post....it sounds like i did something really scandalous. i didnt.

i have to get my mind off of this or else it will bother me. im just gonna let it go.

im at work and im still kinda dizzy. well this is interesting.